Lies. All Lies.

After I published last night’s entry, Brian informed me that Most Eligible Dallas is actually on Monday night. Sunday is Real Housewives of NJ, and Tuesday is Teen Mom. It’s kind of a full time job keeping up with all of this trashy TV. Anyway, I haven’t watched tonight’s episode yet, but I did just get a text from Lauren saying that one of the characters (actors? socialites? what do you call them??? apart from the obvious, of course…) is drinking coffee from our neighborhood shop. OMG.

(And for those of you who inquired: I went to high school with Matt.)

You know when you’re childless, and you see a random kid out in public doing something obnoxious, and you think, “Is that still annoying when it’s your own child?

Here’s your answer: Yes. Yes it is.

Jack’s newest game starts whenever I begin a conversation with someone that is not him. Usually it’s in the car. Here’s how it goes:

Mom? Mom? Mommy? Mom? MOM? MOMMY? MOM? MOM? MOM? MOMMYYYYYYYY???????????????????????? MOM MOM MOMMY MOMOMOMOMOMOM?

Ad nauseam for hours, or until I stop my conversation: “WHAT, JACK?”

“Zip ah dee do dah! Zip ah dee ay!”

I shit you not. Or he’ll make some weird noise with his mouth. Or he’ll just sit there silently and look out the window… until I resume my conversation and then it just starts all over again.

And you know how when you’re a kid, you beg for bites of your mom’s ice cream, or her french fries, or whatever it is that she’s eating at any point in time, and you don’t feel bad at all because it’s your MOM, and obviously she loves nothing more than sharing with her perfect offspring?

Let me tell you something: SHE DOESN’T. She wants that damn french fry.

Or onion ring.


You see, I had just assembled my dinner and was taking my nightly plate photo when, literally between clicks, Jack sneaks in ninja-style and grabs an onion ring off my plate.

I love my child. I really do.

Anyway, I’ve been hoarding this recipe for baked onion rings that I found on Pinterest and finally decided to give it a shot tonight. You soak sliced onions in buttermilk (or milk and lemon juice, if you’re like me and never have buttermilk in the house) and then coat them in a mixture of bread crumbs, panko and crushed cornflakes, then bake.

I baked them a couple minutes longer than the recipe instructed because I didn’t want the onions to be at all raw or crunchy. Not bad, not bad at all. It’s a little messy but I’m guessing less so than making real (fried) onion rings.

Oh, and for the main course we had turkey burgers on sandwich thins.

OKAY. Time for trashy TV! But first, check out Jack’s newest buddy. He is obsessed. Grover goes with us everywhere now.

Jack is just starting to grasp the whole “smile for the camera” thing, so that right there is the face I get when I ask him to say cheese. Goofball.

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3 Responses to Lies. All Lies.

  1. Rose says:

    I have so much to look forward to.

  2. Tammy says:

    Just be sure to get it on video for when he’s older. priceless.
    I do miss those days, most of the time… sometime.
    Those onion rings look awesome, can’t say I blame Jack for snitching one. :)

  3. Robin says:

    Does Jack have “There’s a monster at the end of this book”? There’s the original one with just Grover and then “Another monster at the end of this book” that has Grover AND Elmo. Miller loves them both.

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